I’ve found that there are a lot of wrong beliefs about forgiveness. Like for instance, that you forgive a person only when they deserve it, or forgiving only when a person asks for it, or when I’m ready to forgive I’ll forgive, or when I feel I can forgive I’ll forgive them. It’s sounds like they’re doing somebody a favour.
The Bible compares forgiveness to a debt (Matt. 18:23-35). Just suppose someone owes you ten thousand dollars and you have a legal contract. One day you decide to release them of this debt and you shred that contract and they now owe you nothing. You don’t have to feel wonderful about it and you don’t even have to like them. Irrespective of your feelings, it’s a done deal. This is how we must learn to forgive and always remember that Jesus paid our debt and it was a debt we could never repay.
Forgiveness is not an option according to Jesus, it is required if we want to be forgiven ourselves. According to Jesus forgiveness should be an everyday occurrence and a part of our Christian lifestyle (Matt.18:21-22).
Forgiveness is an act of faith and love and it’s a choice we make. The just shall live by faith. That’s how we live, that’s how we receive and that’s how we overcome. We live by faith on what the Word says and in the process we are guarding our hearts and lettings the springs of life flow freely with no hindrances (Proverbs 4:23).
Our emotions will change and eventually line up with our choice to forgive if we hold on long enough. You can choose to forgive or you can struggle with this for the rest of your life.
When you’re ready to forgive the person, say their name out loud and say you forgive them for – then fill in the blank. Whenever the accuser of the brethren comes to harass you, say out loud that you have forgiven so and so in the name of Jesus Christ. Repeat this as often as you need to and work the process and be patient. It will get easier and easier once you see the benefits (11 Corth. 2:10-11)
The following is a quick test to gauge forgiveness in your heart. You know you’re emotions have lined up with your choice to forgive when…
FIRST THOUGHT TEST
You think of the person on purpose and your first thought is a thought of peace and of good towards them (Phil 4:8, 11 Corth 3:5).
OPPORTUNITY TO HELP THEM TEST
You have an opportunity to help the person and you don’t hesitate to do so (Mark 12: 30-31).
GENERAL THOUGHT TEST
The person pops into your head and your thought is a positive one (Phil 4:8, 11 Corth. 10:5).
REVENGE TEST
You don’t have any thoughts of seeking revenge. (Luke 6:37, 11 Corth. 10:3).
FAILURE TEST
You don’t wish them to fail in their endeavors (1 Corth. 13:6).
KEEPING RECORD OF WRONG TEST
You’ve stopped keeping a record of their wrongs (1 Corth.13:5).
It’s also very important to receive forgiveness for ourselves. We must first repent of our wrong and receive forgiveness from the Lord Jesus and then we forgive ourselves. We should do what you can to fix the wrong and ask the Lord for help and strength, so there is no next time (Phil 4:13, Jeremiah 29:11).
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we have to let that person back in our lives if she or he has violated us and there is a good possibility that it might happen again, Jesus didn’t say that you become a door mat once you’ve forgiven. Once the person has been forgiven, that person has to regain your trust, you don’t have to give it automatically. Setting up good boundaries in our lives is always beneficial.
Forgiveness is the Lord’s way, a gift we give ourselves and others and it brings healing to our soul (Ephesians 4:1-3).
Carmen Desilets servant of the living God.
